The things you have taught me

You taught me to walk

You taught me to drive

You taught me to love

You taught me to cry

Yet there is so much more that you have taught me without really even trying because, as you have taught me: “Actions speak louder than words.”

You taught me to always be strong, even when life gets difficult and unmanageable.

The pain and difficulties that you have gone throughout your life will never be seen in mine because of your refusal to let me suffer that way you did.

You proved just how useless complaining and whining was every time you told your stories of those moments of struggles. You often joke about them instead, not just to minimize the pain but also to hide any hints of resentment lingering on.

Your superpowers show every time you came home from your 12-hour shift just to find yourself working extra long hours cooking, cleaning, and fixing our regular messes. All without overtime, all without a paycheck, all without a thank you.

You do it all with so much ease and kindness that it sometimes makes me wonder whether you actually like folding the laundry, watering the flowers, washing the dishes time and time again.

But you don’t.

You don’t like slaving all morning just to come home at night and find the house in that perfect mess again, as if a hurricane had hit inside instead of out.

You probably wouldn’t mind the help, but never ask for it simply because of your many years of self-support and lone survival. So many years of you figuring out solutions to your many problems and knowing that the only person you could ever really count on was yourself.

But you never taught me that lesson.

You never taught me to feel alone.

You often told me that I can always count on you until the very second you are gone, and even after that.

I’m not sure just how good a mother I will ever be, or if I will love motherhood the way you seem to. But if I ever find myself in your position, I would be content to become half the teacher you have been to me.