She constantly thinks about you and your relative, the past.
She tries to focus on the present, but it’s difficult when you are looming overhead like a great grey cloud about to break into a shower of release, relieving the air of its humidity, exploding into a million droplets.
What would happen if she decided to let go of her fears and just take some time to dance in the kitchen? Where would she land? Would a rocky bottom meet her or could she dive into an ocean of possibilities? Would the waves crash over her with unbearable weight or would she ride those waves, feeling light as a feather, playfully testing the waters but all the while maintaining a deep respect for the ocean, knowing it is stronger than she is.
Dear future, She has so many questions about how you will be.
She has so many dreams. She dreams all day and through the night. Her dreams feel unrealistic and unattainable
She’s searching for that kid from again. That kid from the past. The one who wasn’t afraid. The one who ran onto the stage without fear of being blinded by bright lights and ruthless critics.
She’s searching for answers. She wasn’t strong in math, but now she’s wondering why she thought that. Her teachers and peers never outwardly told her she failed in that numerical subject, but he could hear it in their tones. Their uncertainty and doubtfulness of her abilities.
Those tones turn her dreams into nightmares. Instead of being told she is a failure, she’s assured that she is and will continue to be successful. This doesn’t bring her comfort. If people believe she will succeed, what will happen if she fails? Dear Future, will you still be there if she fails? What kind of things will you bring her then? What kind of failure will it be?
she is searching for an answer. For a solution to the math problem. Did she forget it with the past?
She’s wrote to the past but he didn’t respond, so she thought she’d write to you and see what you will say. I’ve enclosed a list of dreams that she has. Please be gentle, the list feels unattainable and she’s out of practice of asking for the things she wants.
She knows how to ask for what she needs, but it’s harder with what she wants. She’s allowing herself to want, giving herself permission to want the life she’s dreaming of and to take action for what she wants.
She continues to dream in the future. She’s just trying to see what she wants.
She just wants white sheets, a black lab. She wants to wake up to a hot cup of tea without having to wait for the water to boil.
She wants to see all of the plays. She wants nice kitchen counters and pans that don’t stick when she flips her pancakes.
She wants her friends and family to be near and far so she can stay comfortable where she is, but always have somewhere to go and more reasons to travel.
She wants to risk and fail and risk and fail again and succeed succeed succeed.
She wants to take herself seriously. She wants to sing. and feel and eat and sleep and keep going.
I’m excited to meet you.