All she really wants to do is move and love and be kind and angry and glad until she dissolves into a thousand perfect pieces of salt.
All she really wants is to be swallowed by blue
To be wrapped and warmed by the blue clothes and blue paintings she found in closets, after,
To explore the rich, salty blues of the many oceans,
To remember how her toes felt as a child, walking the home beach.
To climb as high as she can into the blue of the sky, the rock running out and the ground becoming scarier and the sky growing thinner and colder–
She doesn’t want to drown in blue, she wants blue in her every breath.
All she really wants is to hold her mother’s hands and hug her shoulders and touch her hair, and not have to be asked questions that aren’t hers to answer.
All she really wants to do is hike in quiet company,
Thinking only about cold toes or a hungry belly,
Stopping only to pee or eat or look or swim with him.
All she really wants to do is make the perfect peanut butter & jelly sandwich,
To sing and smoke and laugh with her brother,
All she really wants to do is move and love and be kind and angry and glad until she dissolves into a thousand perfect pieces of salt,
Content to lap the shore at someone else’s feet,
The argon she left behind breathing in and out of other lungs–